Friendships

I may surprise some of you with the following starting point: Are you your best friend?

If you don’t know, I’m pretty sure you are not. I want to ask you to invest time in yourself and work through your issues and insecurities. Although they don’t define you, they do influence your behaviour. Understand and love yourself first.

Why is this so important? Well, in order for you to form meaningful relationships, including friendships, you have to know yourself first. This includes what behaviours will you tolerate and which are not tolerable. I didn’t have this knowledge shortly after my divorce and I had to learn them the hard way.

Have you lost “friends” after your divorce or seperation? I have, because most of our friends as a couple were my ex’s friends and their partners/spouses. Also, some women felt threatened with my new social status. They chose to ditch me at a time when I needed support and as a result, I had to make friends from scratch.

I had to find ways to meet people I have something in common with. What was my problem with this? Well, I don’t hang out in bars … or at church for that matter.

I realized as well that even with the divorce statistics as high as they are in this country, society still cater for couples and not singles. Have you noticed? Go to any social event and see how even strangers are surprised that you are on your own. Weddings are the worst, I have stopped attending them because of that.

How did I go about meeting people in a safe environment?

• Cooking classes. Yes, I know how this sounds. But some schools really make it a night/day out. First, you cook a meal and then you sit down enjoy it. Google cooking classes in your area and enjoy!

• Craft classes. One of the craft classes I’ve done was a painting course where I’ve learned painting techniques for walls and it was great fun.

• Art classes. I was wondering if I could be a Frida in secret LOL! Jokes aside, being creative is healing and you may discover a talent you never knew you had.

• Sport clubs. Join a club or gym.

• Church. For those of you who belong to a church, it’s a sure way to meet people with the same mindset. Some churches have single groups that meet regularly.

But, while forming new friendships, ensure to always set healthy boundaries from the beginning as it’s easier than trying to do so later.

Frequently go out with your friends to take a break from your responsibilities. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to do so. You can go for a cup of coffee or go for a walk in a park. A friend and I had the thing to go to malls and only try on red Italian shoes! Trust me, neither one of us could afford to buy them!

A true friend will support you when you need it, but also tell you the truth. Why is this important? Well, they may tell you about an aspect of yourself that needs to change in a loving way and you don’t have to learn about it from someone else in a horrible way.

Aspects of Friendship

Friendship is one of the most meaningful and enriching connections humans can experience. At its core, it’s about mutual affection, trust, and support between people who genuinely enjoy each other’s company. But friendship is more than just having fun together—it’s about being there in the highs and lows, sharing life’s moments, and growing alongside each other.

Here are a few key aspects of friendship:

• Trust. True friends can be counted on. You can confide in them, rely on them, and know they’ll show up for you when it matters most.

• Acceptance. Friends accept you as you are. You don’t have to pretend or perform. They love you for your strengths, and they support you through your flaws.

• Communication. Honest, open, and respectful communication builds the foundation of any lasting friendship. Whether it’s deep conversations or silly jokes, what matters is the connection it creates.

• Support. A good friend is your cheerleader when you’re doing great and your anchor when you’re struggling. It’s about having someone who believes in you, even when you’re having a hard time believing in yourself.

• Reciprocity. Friendship thrives when both people give and receive. It’s a balance of effort, listening, caring, and sharing.

• Growth. Great friendships challenge you to be better. They gently push you out of your comfort zone, help you grow emotionally, and offer different perspectives.

As I’m working on this I’m listening to Pink’s song “Try” and the words “You gotta get up and try” are so appropriate here, don’t you think?